By Tony Attwood
Last week I wrote the article ” Can a Dylan song actually be a life-changing experience? which focused on “Restless Farewell”.
That article came entirely out of listening once again to the song and my recognition of how, ever since I first heard Restless Farewell, it has been part of my life. Then, as I started sketching the article, the intention was that this would be a one-off article, slipped onto the site in between our regular series.
But it is in the nature of such things that my mind would then start thinking: is there another song of Dylan’s that has really had such a huge impact on me, an impact that has lasted across not just the years but the decade? And if so, could I write about that song in a way that might be of interest to you?
It turns out there are a few such songs that have had just such an impact, but I was unsure about continuing with the narrative as I felt it was awfully personal. Not that I don’t want to share personal thoughts, but rather I felt maybe no one else would be interested.
But the comments made personally after that earlier article appeared were to the effect that the piece stimulated my friends who read it to consider what Dylan songs, if any, really had had an impact on their lives over the years. And I was asked if there were any other such songs that I could write about. And thus here is a second Dylan song that has had a huge impact on my life since I first heard it. “Long and Wasted Years,” written in either 2011 or 2012.
When I first heard the song, I thought of it in relation to Dylan’s life, although not suggesting that it was autobiographical. The man has written over 500 songs, of which maybe 100 might be considered utter classics (I am not sure about that number and really ought to try and work out just how many Dylan songs I really do consider to be “classics” pieces). But whatever those “classics” are, Dylan surely could not be calling any parts of his life “Long and Wasted Years”.
Now, thoughts such as these are always purely personal – not thoughts generated by reading any comments that Bob or others have made on the lyrics. But this song did trigger the issue of whether I had had “long and wasted years” in my life.
I’ve mentioned before I am now in my late 70s, which for many septegenarians is a time for looking back and pondering, so there was nothing particularly unusual in my decision to reflect upon my past. But the issue here was not “am I still active?” but, “Have I lived a life that was wasted?” And then, how does whatever conclusion I reach in answering such questions affect my life today? After all, I am still able to get out and about, I still write songs, I still go dancing, and of course I still write this blog (as well as the blog on my other major hobby – football (soccer).
So, have I had long and wasted years? That was the question. And I must add for clarity that I didn’t then take into account the rest of the song’s lyrics, although the musical accompaniment and many of the lyrics stayed in my mind.
Wiki, in its commentary on the song, notes that ‘Philippe Margotin and Jean-Michel Guesdon synopsize the song as describing the “twilight of a couple’s contentious relationship” .’ Maybe that is right, but that is not what the song triggered in me – rather, it simply pushed me to think, “What have I done with my life?”
Which in itself raises an interesting point for me: my attraction to Dylan songs is not primarily related to what they are about, but related to how I find myself within them as well as where the song takes me. And maybe that is a better description of what this little series is about: a song as a life-changing experience. I am not sure anyone has written about Dylan songs as life-changing experiences; maybe that is an area to be explored.
In many ways, that turned out to be a very uncomfortable thought, which led on to other difficult areas, which I certainly don’t want to bother you with. But the issue the song raised, which might also be considered as “have I hurt people?” or “have I behaved badly?” and other negatives, really was pretty awful, because when I come to think of it, and be honest with myself, there is quite a bit of my life, and the relationships within it, I am not very happy about.
Now I am not going to bore you with details, but since then, I have asked a few close friends to think along the same lines, and without giving me any details, give me their general conclusions. And those conclusions are sometimes “no, I’ve not hurt anyone except perhaps where they have hurt me first.”
Which was quite different from my conclusion, which is that I have been selfish and uncaring at times. Now that was disturbing, but that was not all that the song did for me. For it also made me think about the notion of “wasted years,” and that led to the positive side of my thinking, for I reached the conclusion that I have not totally wasted my life.
Now, to be clear, I haven’t done anything that has reshaped human society for the better, or saved thousands of lives – nothing like that. But I’ve written quite a bit, and just occasionally other people have quoted something I’ve written, and suggested that my thought or argument has helped develop a view, or an idea or thought. I also have heard occasional comments about my ability as a dancer, which are nice, although I’d love to hear more good things said about myself either as a writer of words or a writer of songs – but it seems not to happen.
So what Bob’s song “Long and Wasted Years” has done is help me have a much deeper, and I think more meaningful, consideration of my own life, with the aim of seeing if my years have been wasted, and moving on from there, if I have actually done any good.
Now I would stress that this is not a process I have then mentioned to my friends; I have not gone around asking people if they see me as a nice guy or a pain in the arse. This has been an entirely internal reflection, and particularly relates to my relationship with my parents, my children, and maybe a dozen long-term friends.
Which brings me here to the main point: “Long and Wasted Years” took me into a series of deep, and for me meaningful reflections on how I have lived my life, forcing me to admit that I’m not too happy with my memories of myself in younger days, but hoping that in later years I have done better.
Would I have undertaken what has been a fairly deep and long reflection without Dylan’s “Long and Wasted Years”? Of course, I don’t know, but I do know that it was that song that really got me to think about who and what I have been and who and what I am now. And I have found that incredibly useful.
Of course, for many people (I suspect) it is just another Bob Dylan song. For many others, it is one of his more important songs. Wiki tells me that Patrick Doyle made it 14th in his list of the best Bob Dylan Songs of the 21st Century.
But I also note that some critics love the song without really taking note of the lyrics, and that is the opposite of me – what sent me on my personal journey of reflection was the lyrics – the music was just the background. However, Ian Maxton said that the song is in essence an “unravelling of the past,” and that is exactly what it has been for me. One article had it as number four in a list of the most underrated Dylan songs of all time.
So it seems it is not just me who picked up on it. It is just that for me, like “Restless Farewell”, it is a song that, through its lyrics, goes far, far beyond being just a song, far beyond being just a Dylan song, and becomes a marker in my life, from which, since I first heard it, I have never let go.
Like “Restless Farewell” I don’t play it regularly, because it is always available to me in my head. I can turn it on whenever I want. Not every line of the song is relevant to me and my past – in fact, listening to it today, I find very few of the lyrics reflect how I see my life. But even so, the title alone reflects my constant feeling that I could and should have done so much more.
And that is the point: until I started thinking about Dylan songs being a life-changing experience, I had no idea how deeply I had carried this song with me. It is not a case of the song having lines that relate directly to my life, but the overall feeling that I could have done it so much better; but there is nothing I can do to change that now.