I’m not there: one of the two great forgotten masterpieces from Dylan in the 1960s

By Tony Attwood

Updated 16 Sept 2017

If you have taken a look at the chronology page on this site, you’ll know that the very first song chosen as a significant Dylan composition is the 1962 composition Ballad for a friend, a song which I personally find to be of monumental importance in terms of Dylan’s writing, and in terms of my own understanding of Dylan as a songwriter.  It is indeed, for me, the very start of Dylan as the writer we have known across the years, although of course I do know that he wrote other songs before that.

Ballad for a friend is unknown to many, many Dylan fans, and so is “I’m not there” – but each of these songs is an utter masterpiece; they are songs that really should be considered to be fundamental to the canon of Dylan songs.

My earlier attempt at putting up a version of this song was ultimately removed, so here are two.  Let’s hope one of them survives

Here is the second

There are more videos shown at the end of the article.

This song is part of a huge outpouring of songs from Dylan in the first half of 1967, which were by and large recorded with the Band.

Indeed after the failure to get a finished version of “She’s your lover now” Dylan composed a whole collection of highly successful songs, all of which were completed and recorded…

1967 then saw him compose a set of songs that were made available for other artists to record with the understanding that Dylan himself would not be recording them.

And so we can see “I’m not there” is tucked in the middle of Million Dollar Bash, and You ain’t going nowhere, along with Sign on the cross, a song that generates different visions and views.

This is an extraordinary mixture of pieces – Tiny Montgomery is about one of Dylan’s odd character creations, Sign on the cross seems to be about a conversion to Christianity, the Million Dollar Bash is the final party of all the freaks who have appeared in earlier songs, You ain’t going nowhere is country rock-a-billy, This Wheel’s on Fire is a sensational piece of rock mysticism…

It is a most extraordinary mixture of pieces and shows Dylan at his most creative, not just for each individual song, but for the incredible variation in all the songs.

And in the midst of it all, we have a song he seemingly threw away.  The exact opposite of She’s your lover now, which he struggled to record, here is a song he just tried out once and moved away from.

“Improvising on the spot” is the phrase Heylin provides for this masterpiece from Bob Dylan – a song that apparently Dylan could never understand why others loved so much.

And there is something in what Heylin says, but it is much more than just improvising… for what we have here is a song which is not only staggeringly beautiful in itself and would be the highpoint of a career for most writers, but because of its incompleteness, it gives us a clue as to how Dylan composes.  Not how he composes every song of course, but how he composes some.

Composition by having a chord sequence and a basic melody, by playing with words, by having ideas, and, (dare I agree with Heylin?) improvising around a theme by using whatever words turn up…

Sadly, any version of the lyrics that you find written down is an approximation, because there is nothing to guide us on the official Bob Dylan site, and no second or third recording to help us compare the more confusing or downright incomprehensible moments in the song.  Even Heylin, with his endless collections of bits of paper discarded by Dylan, can’t help us all the way through, and the fragments he does provide are still open to debate.

So we have to make do with what we can work out.  But even if we can’t agree on the lyrics for this song, we surely can agree that on two things:

1: That Dylan isn’t always the best judge of his work.

2: That Dylan, at least sometimes, writes by trying out lyrics, playing with them, and seeing where they go, rather than carefully plotting hidden meanings inside convoluted texts about something so obscure, listeners can’t agree what it was that he was trying to say in the first place.

As for the recording, this is one of those songs that Dylan presented to the band, and just started playing without telling them what happens, and how many verses it takes to happen. Indeed it is not clear if the start of the song is truly captured, nor if the band are told to stay quiet until Bob gives them the nod.

What is clear however is that it takes the band a while to get into the song – and it is all the better for that because when they do become apparent behind Dylan’s searching voice and repeated chord sequence, they have really got to grips with what is going on.

Because the song isn’t finished we have to make guesses about the meanings, but in essence it seems to be the reflection of a man who was not always there when needed by the woman who has the toughest of experiences and who really needs his support.   He recriminates with himself for his failure, but doesn’t ask for forgiveness.  He just blames himself and tells it how it was.

As such it is a painful, evocative, overwhelming portrait of two lives in just over five minutes, and the uncertainty over the lyrics and melody adds to the whole notion of a fragmentary set of life-defining events presented in the song.  Indeed even the lack of anything remotely like a definitive version of the lyrics adds to this portrayal of a life falling apart.   In short, once more we experience life through the mists.  As fragmentary and uncertain as Visions, but in this case, a song not finished.

The basic chord structure is G, F, Am, G, a chord sequence that really goes hardly anywhere, and Dylan’s opening vocal lines reflects that.

When the melodic line rises (I believe that she’d stop him) we get C, Em, F, G and variations thereof.  It is not exactly in a different key, but it is halfway there, which is what gives the alternate verses such a strong sense of individual identity.

Not many people have commented on the song, but here are a few of what seemed to me to be the most interesting commentaries…

Greil Marcus called the song, “a trance, a waking dream, a whirlpool… Words are floated together in a dyslexia that is music itself — a dyslexia that seems meant to prove the claims of music over words, to see just how little words can do… In the last lines of the song, the most plainly sung, the most painful, so bereft that after the song’s five minutes, five minutes that seem like no measurable time, you no longer believe that anything so strong can be said in words.”

Michael Pisaro wrote, “It’s almost as though he has discovered a language or, better, has heard of a language: heard about some of its vocabulary, its grammar and its sounds, and before he can comprehend it, starts using this set of unformed tools to narrate the most important event of his life… [Rick] Danko plays [bass] as if he knows that all his life this song has been waiting for him to complete it, and that he will be given only one chance.”

Paul Williams, in Bob Dylan, Performing Artist 1960-1973 wrote, “What’s astonishing here is that we can feel with great intensity and specificity what the singer is talking about, even though 80% of the lyrics have not been written yet!…

“It’s as though when Dylan writes, the finished song is not constructed piece by piece as we might imagine, but tuned in; there is an entirety from the first but still out of focus, like the photograph of a fetus, a blur whose identifying characteristics are implicit but not yet visible — not because they’re obscured but because they haven’t yet taken shape. ‘I’m Not There’ is a performance complete in feeling.

The late John Bauldie, who wrote the quarterly magazine, The Telegraph, called it “Dylan’s saddest song, achieved without benefit of context or detail. It’s like listening to the inspiration before the song is wrapped around it.”

Even if this song were nothing else, it gives us one of the great insights into Dylan’s songwriting technique.  But of course, it is much more.   So much, much more.

Because the lyrics are not published on the official site, I’m putting my version of them below.  By all means correct my version with better lines, but please don’t blame me for complete misunderstandings – I’m an English guy trying to understanding an American singer.

And just a note about copyright – I mean no disrespect to the copyright of Bob Dylan in producing these lyrics, and if my production of them does cause a problem to the copyright owner, I will of course remove them at once.

Thing’s are all right and she’s all too tight
In my neighbourhood she cries both day and night
I know it because it was there
It’s a milestone but she’s down on her luck
And she’s daily salooning about to make a hard earned buck; I was there.

I believe that she’d stop him if she would start to care
I believe that she’d look upon the side that used to care
And I’d go by the Lord anywhere she’s on my way
But I don’t belong there.

No, I don’t belong to her, I don’t belong to anybody
She’s my Christ-forsaken-angel but she don’t hear me cry
She’s a lone hearted mystic and she can’t carry on
When I’m there she’s all right, but then she’s not, when I’m gone.

Heaven knows that the answer she not calling no one
She’s the way, forsaken beauty for she’s mine, for the one
And I lost her hesitation by temptation lest  it runs
But she don’t honour me but I’m not there, I’m gone.

Now I’ll cry tonight like I cried the night before
And I’m leased on the highway  but I still dream about the door
It’s so long, she’s forsaken by her faith, (where’s to tell?)
It don’t have consternation she’s my all, fare thee well.

Now when I’ll teach that lady I was born to love her
But she knows that the kingdom waits so high above her
And I run but I race but it’s not too fast or still
But I don’t perceive her, I’m not there, I’m gone.

Well it’s all about diffusion and I cry for her veil
I don’t need anybody now beside me to tell
And it’s all affirmation I receive but it’s not
She’s a lone-hearted beauty but she don’t like this spot and she’ gone.

Yeah, she’s gone like the radio below the shining yesterday
But now she’s home beside me and I’d like her here to stay
She’s a lone, forsaken beauty and she don’t trust anyone
And I wish I was beside her but I’m not there, I’m gone.

 Well, it’s too hard to stay here and I don’t want to leave
It’s so bad, for so few see, but she’s a heart too hard to need
It’s alone, it’s a crime the way she hauls me around
But she don’t fall to hate me but tears are gone, a painted clown.

Yes, I believe that it’s rightful oh, I believe it in my mind
I’ve been told like I said one night before “Carry on the crying”
And the old gypsy told her like I said, “Carry on,”
I wish I was there to help her but I’m not there, I’m gone.

This version I really like – I don’t know who this guy is, but full credit to him for taking this very difficult song on

And one more.  Ignore the date – that can’t be right.  I don’t think the opening works, but it improves…

 

———

What is on the site

1: Over 400 reviews of Dylan songs.  There is an index to these in alphabetical order on the home page, and an index to the songs in the order they were written in the Chronology Pages.

2: The Chronology.  We’ve taken all the songs we can find recordings of and put them in the order they were written (as far as possible) not in the order they appeared on albums.  The chronology is more or less complete and is now linked to all the reviews on the site.  We have also recently started to produce overviews of Dylan’s work year by year.     The index to the chronologies is here.

3: Bob Dylan’s themes.  We publish a wide range of articles about Bob Dylan and his compositions.  There is an index here.  A second index lists the articles under the poets and poetic themes cited – you can find that here.

4:   The Discussion Group    We now have a discussion group “Untold Dylan” on Facebook.  Just type the phrase “Untold Dylan” in, on your Facebook page or follow this link 

5:  Bob Dylan’s creativity.   We’re fascinated in taking the study of Dylan’s creative approach further.  The index is in Dylan’s Creativity.

6: You might also like: A classification of Bob Dylan’s songs and partial Index to Dylan’s Best Opening Lines

15 Comments

  1. I am not a musician like you Tony, but to me the song’s tune resembles very much ( too much) – Leonard Cohen – Suzanne. It might be part of the reason why Dylan did not record it.

  2. This is probably the version that most resembles my own understanding of them.

    A few variances that I hear would be:

    It don’t have consternation, (she smiled,) fare thee well.
    Well it’s all about (confusion) and I cry for her (still)
    Yeah, she’s gone like the (rainbow that shined) yesterday
    I’ve been told like I said one night before “Carry on the (crime)”

  3. John was editor of The Telegraph, for which various people contributed articles, including me. And of course we’ve all had a go at transcribing the words at some time, and none of them quite make sense because I think he was both making it up as he went along, and also at times mis-reading from a lyric sheet which was incomplete. The actual syntax could never be normal English. There was a piece in The Telegraph once, I think, about a typescript for sale at one time with bits of a verse from it. I know I would never find it again.

  4. The older available tapes of “I’m Not There” were of considerably reduced quality when compared to the Neil Young tape that was used for the I’m Not There soundtrack and again in the recent official release of The Basement Tapes.
    Not that the older comments about the inscrutability of the recording aren’t telling: what the listeners find in Dylan has always mattered at least as much as what the artist meant to put there.

  5. I’m with “rainbow” instead of “radio show,” and I hear (and say it to myself) as “rainbeow,” but it’s fun for me to read this transcript, that is really close to mine–and definitely filled in a few gaps that I was hopeless on. You know how it is when you’ve said it to yourself the wrong way a million times, and then you can’t hear it any other way……modegreenerism or something—and this song lends itself to that.
    The soundtrack for the movie I’m Not There has Sonic Youth singing it, and I’d have guessed that along the way they might have asked Bob hey wazzup with these lyrics, we gotta figure out what to sing… but they ended up filling in words sensibly, respectably, but still nearly willy-nilly just to have a song to sing. It would be neat to have heard their own internal discussion.
    All told, what a great song, isn’t it? It’s all mood, and in a way, it’s all about confusion…although I also heard that as “it’s all about diffusion,” which just reinforces that it’s all about confusion!
    I think many of us hope, with ever new published BD songbook, that we’ll get Bob’s version of it, or at least where he was when he was putting it on paper.
    I especially like Roy’s speculation.
    And I really like this site. It makes me feel so unalone in my obsession and private ruminations on these things. For the record, I am able to obsess while living a normal family life and having a fairly normal job and integrating with fairly normal people. Most of the time my head is on straight..as he said.
    Tony: Good job with the lyrics. Best I’ve read. But do get the “rainbow” in there.

  6. Thank you very much for your printthinking about the songs.
    Maybe it would be helpful for you to listen to Howard Fishman ‘s version
    of the song .It is slightly different from yours,but he is from New York.
    It is on his cd : performs B d & the Band’s “Basement Tapes” Live at Joe’s Pub
    from 2006 available through his website.

  7. That’s not a date of performance on Howard Fishman’s version: the song used to be referred to as ‘I’m not there (1956)’. I have no idea why.

  8. A beautiful woman madly unhappily in love with somebody else
    is like honey for the bees for some men.

    Strange but true.

  9. I know you dont like “Sad eyed lady of the Lowlands” Tony Attwood, but maybe you can see the connection.

    The man in the song is trying to cope with the very painful feeling of being rejected of the lady he madly loves without understanding WHY.

    That is lived life – not invented poetry for an audience.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYk7ac7g7ZQ

  10. I’m sitting around with nothing better to do than try and get the lyrics to this song right today. I reviewed many many others attempts and compiled them.

    I’M NOT THERE – My hybrid

    starts mid-verse…
    ….Thing’s [are] all right [and] then she’s all too tight [tired]
    In my neighborhood she cried both day and night
    I know it because it was there

    It’s a milestone but she’s down on her luck
    And her day makes her lonely but it may be hard to buck
    I would think

    I believe that she’d stop him if she wants time to care
    I believe that she’d look upon his side that used to care
    And I go by the Lord, anywhere she’s on my way
    But I don’t belong there

    No, I don’t belong to her, I don’t belong to anybody [everybody?] [every choir]
    She’s my Christ [prize]-forsaken angel but she don’t hear me cry
    She’s a lone-hearted mystic [long-hearted mistress?] and she dain’t carry on
    When I’m there she’s alright, but then she’s not, when I’m gone

    Heaven knows that’s the answer, she’s don’t con no one
    She’s away, sailing beautiful, she’s mine, for the one
    And I lost her hesitatin’ by temptation as it runs
    But she don’t holler [harm, honor?] me
    But I’m not there, I’m gone

    Now I’ll cry tonight like I cried the night before
    And I’ll feast on the highway [highs?] but I’ll dream about the door
    [And I’ll feast on her eyes but I’ll dream about the door?]
    So long Jesus, Savior, blind faith worth to tell
    It don’t have confirmation, She’s my all, Fare thee well

    [Her smile is contagious?] I was born to love her
    [Now I went out neath the levee, I was born to love her]
    But she knows that the kingdom waits [weighs] so high above her
    And I run a better [but I?] race, but it’s not too fast or slow
    But I don’t perceive her,
    [But I’ll dare not deceive her?]
    I’m not there, I’m gone

    Well, it’s all about confusion and I cry for her veil
    I don’t need anybody now beside me to tell
    And it’s all affirmation I receive [information I can see] but it’s not
    She’s an old-hearted[?] beauty but she’s gone like a spark [the spot]
    and she calls

    Yes, she’s gone like the rainbow that shined yesterday
    But now she’s home beside me and I’d like her here to stay
    She’s a lone-[cold?]forsaken [gold forsaking?] beauty and she [it] don’t trust anyone
    And I wish I was beside her but I’m not there, I’m gone

    Well, it’s too hard to take in, and I don’t far believe
    [Well, it’s too hard to stay here and I don’t want to leave?]
    It’s so hard, for so few see, [it’s all bad for abusing?] but she’s hard, too hard to leave
    It’s a load [alone], it’s a crime the way she mauls me [won’t be] around
    But she don’t phone to hate me, this long-forsaken clown

    Yes, I believe that it’s rightful, oh, I believe it in my mind
    I been told like I said one night before, carry on the crime
    Yes, this old gypsy told her like I said, “Carry on”
    I wish I was there to help her but I’m not there, I’m gone

  11. It’s playing in my earbuds as I write this and it really is otherworldly, unlike anything else I’ve ever heard, and so perfectly in keeping with the entire Dylan ethos — one of his greatest and most memorable songs (as someone on another thread said, once you’ve heard it, you never unhear it) and yet he practically disowns it. There’s something ethereal about it and that last line — “I wish I was there to help her but I’m not there, I’m gone” — is as haunting as anything he’s ever written. It’s like he was hearing it for the first time while he was singing it and it was so intense that it scared him.

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